What causes us to make compromises in life? I know a few of the things that made me compromise my future and settle for less. The first one was that I didn’t think that I deserved anything better. The fear of being not worth it or not able to live up to something better kept me stuck. The old saying is do you want to lead, follow, or get out of the way. I think that most of us are like I was growing up, we got out of the way usually, and the remaining time we had we followed others. Following others is the “safe” option… right? Do you believe that in your life? Do you think it is the “safe” option to not create and instead just get a job? Getting a job allows you to follow the direction of others for a living. You can always blame someone else when it doesn’t work out. You can always say that it wasn’t your fault. That sort of external locus in your life can be toxic and corrosive to your future self.
I will tell you right now that looking back on how I lived the first 40-ish years of my life is a disappointment. I could have had so much more if I had just taken that chance. Even if one or most of the ventures I attempted had not succeeded to the degree that I wanted, I would have been learning, iterating, and doing check/adjustment along the way. How much farther along would I be compared to where I am now? Where I am now is nothing to write home about (as I write this post). I am an average American citizen, earning an average living, and now going through an average divorce and average custody battle. I have an average amount of control over my life and have average amounts of freedom to do what I wish with the time I have left. By average in all of the previous examples, I mean shit!
There is nobody to blame for the choices I have made but me. Inaction is still a choice and I chose to do nothing with most of my time until now. It wasn’t until recently, when I started working with a mentor and working around higher performing people that I really saw the contrast with my life and theirs. I wanted what they had but I didn’t understand how they got it.